Letters To Edward
by addicted2Twifanfics
Summary: Bella is a fan of Twilight. Her friend convinces her that Edward exists in the real world. "If S.M dreamed of Edward then he has to be real, right?". "Is he waiting for me too?" Bella asked. Can she meet a fictional character?
1. The Beginning

**Disclaimer: Twilight is for the one and only Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Hey you guys:D I hope you enjoy this. I know it's really short, but please believe when I say I'm really new at this. Following chapters are way longer. So give me a chance.**

_**This is a repost. Chapters are being edited. Not so many changes. If you've read this already, you can just wait until I post the last chapter.**_

**Chapter 1**

I knew he didn't even exist. I let my dumb friend fool me into thinking that he exists. He doesn't. An incontrovertible fact. He wasn't real. God even repeating that in my head made my stomach churn. If he didn't exist then why was I waiting for him, why was I throwing out my teenage years? _He is not coming around._Yeah keep telling yourself that. Maybe if I say it enough the thought of him appearing out of thin air would just vanish.

I vividly remember the day that I was "introduced" to him. My friend Lily knocked on my door at 8 on a Saturday morning. She was so excited that she didn't know where to begin. After the excitement wore off, she told me about Twilight, and Edward Cullen. I just listened to her babbling and took the book she was holding in her hand. Right there on the back cover was _my_ name. Isabella Swan. That's how everything begun. From that moment on my life changed.

I started reading Twilight that day. I loved it just like a normal book. Sure I was excited because everyone seemed to be reading it and asking me questions about "Bella". I would just nod and tell them that "Yes, I'm quite surprise too, it's just a coincidence". After a while everyone in school started calling me "Bella", that was frustrating. I was tired of correcting people. I prefer Izzie not Bella. I don't know why people called me Bella because I assure I look nothing like _Bella_. A lot of people have brown eyes with chestnut hair.

Unlike my best-friend Lily, I wasn't obsessed with the books. I went to both midnight screening of the movies with her. Lily seemed to think that at some point in my life I would meet _You._My Edward_._I took it as a joke every time she mentioned it. She believed that vampires exist because human imaginations aren't that broad. Back then I told her she was a lunatic. Look at me now!

It wasn't till last week that I started believing her. She sent me a link to Stephenie's website. I asked her what the hell was it this time, she just said go read it.

Do you believe we do everything for a purpose? Last term I wrote a research paper on dreams analysis. There was an article which really intrigued me, it said that the possibility of the person you're dreaming being real is high. Everything just _clicked_ then. Stephenie Meyer dreamed of us. I'm real so you should be real too Edward.

˜*•. ˜"*°•.˜"*°•L.2.E•°*"˜.•°*"˜ .•*˜

I started writing to Edward immediately after I had my epiphany of him being real. I knew I would find him one day, I just knew it. There was a voice deep down inside telling me that I would meet him someday. I can't recall how my high school's senior year passed. I just remember writing to Edward, and reading Twilight fan fictions. It was really fun; I loved how every time we met in a different place, and at a different age. I lost touch with most of my friends because I was spending a lot of time reading fanfics. Lily wasn't talking to me because I didn't want to go to prom. I mean be serious, when you are going to be with Edward Cullen for the rest of your life; would you go to prom with a random guy and make out? Hell no. I just hope I meet him before I move away for college.


	2. Real Life

**Chapter 3: Chapter 3**

_**Disclaimer: Twilight is for the one and only Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**A/N: A huge thank you for everyone who supports me:)**_

_**I hope you enjoy this chapter lovelies xx**_

**Chapter 3**

_Where are you Edward?_I chant this question in my head throughout the day more than a hundred times, and you know what's funny, each time I expect the answer to just pop in my head. How am I supposed to find you when I don't even know how you look like? I even Google'd you, everything I found was on RPattz a.k.a _Edward Cullen (_I know people can be crazy sometimes), but there wasn't anything about _you_. Are you looking for me too? Or are you just sitting on your ass waiting for me to find you? God Edward, sometimes I just wanna give up on you...well those times are **really** rare, so no need to worry.

You don't think I'm a freak or a weirdo, do you? I hope not. I want to send these to you, but where do I send them to? Let's just hope you find me and not another Isabella Swan.

˜*•. ˜"*°•.˜"*°•L.2.E•°*"˜.•°*"˜ .•*˜

Apparently I've gone mad. That's what my mom told me today. She thinks I'm crazy because of going away for university. Can you blame her? I'm moving away just so I can be with Edward, whom I don't even know for certain _exist._ But relationships require sacrifices, right? ... _What sacrifices and relationships you doofus! he's a fictional character…_ that's logical Izzie's voice, and she's a bitch, she breaks my heart with saying stuff like this.

I knew I had few options. I had to choose a place where there is a possibility of Edward living in it. Alaska, Seattle, Vancouver or _Forks_; however, none of the places I chose where a place my parents were willing to send me.

"Izzie, you will listen to what I have to say" my mom shouted just as I making a leave from the living room. I turned around and told her that I'm exhausted and I have to sleep right now. I could still hear her complaining to my dad about my behavior. I know I was kind of rude, but I really wasn't in mood. I knew she would try to convince me to stay, and I didn't want to. I know Edward wasn't here.

˜*•. ˜"*°•.˜"*°•L.2.E•°*"˜.•°*"˜ .•*˜

I dreamed about you last night. You were right there in my arms. I couldn't tell where we were...heaven...maybe! There was light, but you weren't shining Edward. You acted normal around me; I thought my blood was supposed to make you thirsty, so I guess it doesn't. Are you a vampire? Can you read minds? I presume you can read my mind also because I'm not _Bella,_ but then again you are not _Edward_either. You might be a normal human. You know that wouldn't change anything, for me you're special. Next time would you please tell me where you live?

Good night my Edward. Okay this might not be appropriate since you can't sleep (in case you _are_ a vampire), so I just end this with a simple..._I love you._..

˜*•. ˜"*°•.˜"*°•L.2.E•°*"˜.•°*"˜ .•*˜

Dear Edward do you want your letters because I assure you I would send them to you right away, just tell me where to send them. Please.

I wrote this line for him in every letter. I just wanted him to know about me. I wanted him to know that I was moving to Seattle for university. I wanted him to be there for me, but he couldn't, physically anyway.

It took me a while to convince my parents about Seattle, but when Lily told them that she was coming with me too they were relieved. That was kind of ironic, because I was more responsible than Lily.

Weeks passed, but I didn't give in. Every day I wrote something to him, mostly random stuff. Things that I know he wouldn't even care about if he was real. Many times I just wanted to throw out everything I owned with Edward's name on it, but I couldn't. How can you get rid of something that is a part of you? Because you are Edward, you'll always be a part of me.

"I hate that he has this much control over you, for all I know the guy doesn't even exist!" Lily said. She was still upset over the prom incident. The girl even tried to drag me to prom. I grinned abashedly remembering how I ran away from her.

"Will you please wipe that smirk off you face, I know you're thinking about prom."

"Come on, it was funny. You should've seen your date's face; he thought you were a gorilla." God I was the worst best friend in the world, I didn't even remember her date's name…Let's hope she doesn't notice….

"See this is what I mean by that stupid shiny Volvo owner's control over you. Izzie…" I raised my eyebrows daring her to continue. "…_Bella…_my prom date was my boyfriend of six months, whom by the way you have only met twice, one of them being the night of prom."

I cringed I know what she was doing guilt tripping me for God knows what reason this time. _Yes Edward she's been doing this for a while now, guess I'm immune to it after all._

"Hey don't think for one second you can guilt trip me Lily, I told you I'm sorry a bunch of times so just knock it off please." I sighed. Hmph maybe having Alice as your best friend is better than Lily. _Is it Edward?_ Hey well done didn't think about him in about 1 minute. I high five'd myself in my head. Back to Lily.

"Izzie…_Bella_…please just give me one day, stop thinking about him for one freaking day, come hang out with us…you know people in the real life that you seem to have forgotten" I glared at her, I hated when she said that to me. "If you come out with us I swear I keep an open mind about Edward, you seem to be forgetting that I was the one who _introduced_ you guys."

Well she had me there. She was the one who brought the book, and the whole Stephenie Meyer's website address and stuff. _Ahhh_ _the Meadow, I need to read that scene again, I really miss it._

"…I swear everyone misses you…" I kind of zoned out I don't even remember what Lily was talking about, thinking about Edward does that to me, well I'm guessing it does that to everyone.

"IZZIE…I can't believe you're making me call you Bella, that is the most absurd thing I have ever heard…no I take that back writing letters to a _fictional character_ is absurd."

"Hey I thought you were gonna keep an open mind about Edward"

"I will do that if you just agree to come out with me and not cancel our plans for the first time in almost one year!"

"Has it been that long?" Huh, I guess Edward you can distract me from everything even from my own life. _Shit! Got distracted again._

"Bella please!" Lily pleaded, giving me puppy eyes.

"Okay, but Lily I cannot promise you that I forget about Edward, you know how he is on my every thought and it's kind of difficult to control my thoughts"

"Cheesy Izzie…Bella really? I think you might have met Edward by now if you had actually left the house." Then she laughed. I know she was mocking me.

"Yeah Lily because Edward Cullen lives in desert. Seriously though stop joking about Edward. You know I'm going to tell him about you when I finally met him. Do you want to be introduced as the girl who brought us together, or as the girl who didn't have a little faith in her own best friend's beliefs?"

"Bella…Izzie" her voice squeaked indicating that she was in fact getting frustrated, I looked away dejected. I wasn't Izzie anymore, I was Bella. You know Edward's Bella, but people seem to overlook that.

Lily moved closer to me, she wrapped her arms around my shoulder. She could feel the sadness radiating from me. I was startled when she began talking again. "Bella, I want to have faith in you and Edward, but the chances are really slim and I don't want you to waste your life on him" I wanted to interrupt, but she held her finger as if to shush me. "If you and Edward are meant to be together, you will meet him, someday, somewhere else, maybe even in ten years. Are you going to sit around and do nothing but writing letters to him? Letters that he won't even receive? If you continue with the way you are, you're going to end up like a forlorn cat lady honey." She frowned, but I giggled trying to imagine myself with all the cats.

"You still gonna be my best friend right?" I said trying to lighten the mood.

She rolled her eyes and said "Of course, just think about what I said, and call me if you want to go out tonight, we are going skating, is that all right?" I laughed and nodded my head. I knew that I was going because I didn't have a choice this time.

After Lily left I thought about what she said, she was right. If I was meant to be with you Edward, I will meet you someday. I just have to continue living because being idle like I was during the past year was futile, it didn't bring me to you.

I will write a letter to you every month, but that's my limit. I have to live my real life too, and leave the fantasy life behind. I'm positive somewhere along the path both lives, real and fantasy, will collide. Until then let's keep writing to you, my Edward…_and yes I'm blushing at the thought of you being mine_…for only once a month. I'll promise I won't forget you, honestly how can I forget the most amazing creature on earth.

I love you my Edward.

**There you have it again I'm sorry for the delay.**

**EPOV next? tell me what you think!**

**AND thanks for reading:)**


	3. EC is the best

**So here's the next chapter….I know it's late again BUT I didn't get a lot of encouragement for the last chapter. SO That's why…J**

**Thanks to M&M…**

_**Disclaimer: Twilight is for the one and only Stephenie Meyer.**_

Dear Edward what do you want me to say. I'm going crazy over here. Well I suppose you don't know where exactly is "here". That would be Seattle. If you are wondering for one second that I would move all the way to Seattle for you, the answer is no. You see I changed, big time. I'm not hanging around for you anymore; in fact today I'm going out on my first date. And you would wonder why. I guess you deserve an explanation. I can't wait for you, I hate waiting, I always hated waiting even before you came along I hated waiting for love and when I found it, I guess I wish I never found it now…I take that back…what I really wish is for me to be with you without any conflicts, and by conflicts I mean me knowing you exist for sure…you know what my parents always talked about, faith. I have faith in you but its diminishing so fast. You know what I'm listening to? The Scientist-Coldplay.

I believe you and me were together at some point in another life, maybe even in the life before that right? Because we're meant to be.

Forget my ranting you I love you deeply, maybe there's still hope for us right? Faith.

˜*•. ˜"*°•.˜"*°•L.2.E•°*"˜.•°*"˜ .•*˜

I stood in front of mirror appraising myself. I was getting ready for my first date, _ever_. Unfortunately it wasn't with Edward.

_Great. Don't you dare think about him_.

It's been a month since I have given up on Edward. A month since I realized he wouldn't come around. A month since I know Lily was right and I needed _a life,_ as she puts it.

**FlashBack**

"That is it" Lily yelled.

We were sitting in our new apartment she was rambling about something. I had no idea what she was talking about; I was in one of Edward-ish daydreams. I was picturing us on Isle Esme. I'm so jealous of _Bella_; she could at least touch _her_ Edward.

"Izzy" I cringed, but my head snapped up involuntarily. I obviously still respond to that name. Izzy. Sound so childish. I can't imagine I loved that name. Bella is so elegant and it goes perfectly with Edward. Izzy and Edward sound horrible.

"Would you stop screeching, I love my ears and I don't what to be deaf." I defended myself.

"If you _look_ at me when I talk to you, we wouldn't even have this conversation"

"Okay, so what is it this time? _Bella_you stay at home all the time talk or _Bella_ you should date talk?" I stressed on Bella because it's been my name for so long now and she knows it.

"umm no it's actually Izzy you need a life talk. Girl you should live at the very least, and you are not doing a good job. We're freshman at college, have you even attended a college party this year?" She was beet red. Her facial expression was hilarious, but I didn't dare laugh at her I know she was fuming.

I kept quiet because for one I wasn't sure I could talk without laughing and second I knew she would get pass this. We had this talk every freaking weekend.

"I'm calling your parents" Lily sighed.

This is not good.

"I hate to say this again, but you are wasting your life and I think you need therapy because this shit isn't normal. I know I told you all of this many times before but we are either moving back or you're snapping out of it. You were my best friend but I'm not sure if I can call you my friend any more. The Izzy I knew wouldn't let me face all of this alone. This is not healthy and you know it so snap out of it or you're going to see a therapist. Your choice." She looked really sad. I was hurt because she had lost her friend. Me. I had lost myself. I can't do this anymore.

**End of FlashBack**

Edward is figment of Stephenie Meyer's imagination. How I come to this conclusion? Everyone imagines their perfect guy. Mine happens to be the same. That's why I gave up on him.

I didn't write him a letter after that because a farewell letter would mean that I'm saying good bye to him. How can you say good bye to someone who you haven't even said hello out loud huh?

Lily was more than happy to help me. I needed someone's help to get back to my life. She just proved to me how good of a friend she actually is. I got a job near a few blocks away from our apartment. I needed a job to keep my mind occupied from the thoughts of _him_.

"Are you ready?" Lily clapped her hands; she was really excited about my date.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure about the dress is it too much?"

"Shut it Izz, you look sexy." That's right. We were back to Izzy one more time. I changed my name back because I really didn't need Bella to remind me of _him._

"Thanks _Lil._" I giggled. She decided to ignore my nickname for her.

"So tell me about this guy, is he hot?" she raised her eyebrows daring me to shrug her off. She's been asking about him the past week.

"He's kind of cute. I don't actually know him so I might need the emergency call thing girls do on dates ok?" I pleaded with her.

"I'm not bailing you out of your first date, get over it and endure even if you have to"

"Lily please you know how awkward I can be" I gave her the puppy eyes. No one can resist those.

"Don't look at me like that it's not happening. I'm going out with Sam so I'm not returning any phone calls from you got it?"

"All right, I won't call you. You go have fun when I'm enduring hell." I joked.

"I'm positive you'll have a great time with Ashton, just give him a chance. Have fun sweetie" she hugged me and I was out of the door.

I met Ashton while I was working in the Café one afternoon. He gave me his number and since I was looking for a change I called him. We talked a couple of times, and he asked me on a date and bam I was looking through the menu with Ashton sitting in front of me.

Our phone calls were really short so I really didn't know him.

"Anything intresting?"He asked.

"I'll have a mushroom Ravioli" as soon as I said it a gasp escaped my mouth. Shit. I'm so _Bella_.

_Don't_.

"Everything ok?" Ashton asked obviously having heard my large intake of breath_._

"Peachy"

"I think I'll have the Ravioli too. So tell me about yourself." I hated talking about myself so I just summarized my life for him.

"Born in Chicago, moved to Arizona at five, just moved back here this year." I looked at him hoping this was enough for him.

"Umm…" he was lost for words certainly not expecting me to be this straight forward.

_Shit I suck at dating. How long did I last? Two minutes?_

_I swear if he was sitting instead of Ashton I would be having fun now._First dates are awkward.

"So how's living in Arizona?"

"Boring" short answers. Could this date get any more uncomfortable?

"How so?" Like I would know I spent the last year and half of my life locked away in my house.

"It's just boring." I had no idea what to tell him.

"Ok then."

"So why Seattle?" He asked.

It's closer to Forks. That was the obvious answer.

"I don't know" I answered nonchalantly.

He stared at me dumbfounded for a good ten second before looking away.

I know what he was thinking, is this girl for real.

"What's your favorite color?" Ashton asked.

"Green." I answered without thinking.

"Green huh, may I ask why?"

"No." Wow I can't even date.

After five awkwardly silent minutes, the waiter brought our food. I started eating fast. I just wanted to get out of here. The guy was just as awkward as me.

I was worried that he would be offended that I'm eating this fast so I looked at him, he was also inhaling his food. Now I was offended.

So I tried to start a conversation which I failed miserably.

"So what do you do for living?" I asked him.

"I study at UofW. I don't need a job."

_Way to point out that you're rich._I didn't want to pry so I didn't ask any more questions after that.

After we finished eating, he asked for the check and he paid for our food.

"I had a nice time Izzy, bye." He turned and walked away. Jerk didn't even offer to take me home.

Oh my God my first date was a disaster.

I decided to walk home because it would kill time and I couldn't have any free time these days. Free time at home equaled writing a letter to _him._

I didn't realize that I've been wandering the streets for two whole hours. Apparently I've been going to the opposite way of our apartment. I quickly turned and headed back. That's when I heard them, they've been following me.

˜*•. ˜"*°•.˜"*°•L.2.E•°*"˜.•°*"˜ .•*˜

I ran faster than I have ever run before. I was gasping for air. Both my lungs and my muscles were burning. You know me not really athletic. _Shut up Bella you're running for your life here_. Oh back to the present issue. I was running down an alley with three obvious dangerous guys chasing after me. Why did I have to go for a walk after my _date?_

"Wait up, Sugar" yelled one of the drunk assholes.

Guhhh I feel so much like _Bella_now. I'm sure anyone who has read Twilight and is in a situation like mine, _thinks_about how Edward saved Bella.

But not me. Even when running I actually expected him to appear right out of thin air and save me from these assholes. _You promised you wouldn't think about him Bella_. My inner voice was really annoying considering the state I was in. _It's Izzy and not Bella any more._I retorted myself.

I reached the end of the alley, I was about to turn when I collided with something so hard. At first I thought it was the wall; however, that changed when I felt two hands on my waist. My heart started beating rapidly. Two paths lay ahead of me, the first one was this stranger being friends with the assholes running after me…_shit I'm screwed_….the second one was him being someone who can actually save me.

I hesitantly looked up and all I could see was the green eyes staring at me with concern. _He_ was here.

˜*•. ˜"*°•.˜"*°•L.2.E•°*"˜.•°*"˜ .•*˜

I was passing through the street while watching human interactions. Man I'll never get tired of that. I had an unfilled coffee mug in my hand just for keeping appearances. Let's face it I wouldn't even drink that shit, even for an act. It was easier this way, pretending to be part of the crowd. I was different, but I could blend in with them easily. Although it wasn't effortless I made it work. Years of practice made it painless for me. Twenty years of practice. Practice makes perfect.

If you look at me now you'll see an average twenty two year old male who is probably a business man and that's wrong. No I don't mean the male part, I am a man and I can prove it to you.

I'm not twenty-two. I'm forty two. I don't age. You ask why?

One night I was just going back to my apartment after a visit to my parents and I heard a woman's screams. I ran fast toward the piercing sounds. On the corner of vacated alley there was a man hovering over a woman.

"HEY!" I yelled at the man. They were both homeless that much was apparent from their attires.

I heard movement behind me, but when I looked back nothing was there. I looked back at the man.

He looked smug. I wanted to punch him in the face or cause him some serious pain.

I returned my gaze to the woman, who had stopped screaming as soon as she saw me. I expected her to seem thankful that I have arrived; however, she didn't. She had the same look on her face as the guy.

I was so lost in the people in front of me that I didn't see someone came behind me and knock me to the ground.

My memory of that night is a bit hazy since I was knocked in my head. I know that those people mugged me and they stabbed me with a knife numerous times then they left me to die.

I was dying. I could actually feel death. That's when the pixie angel showed up.

"You'll find out why I did this someday Edward….Oh and don't forget you can't hunt humans." That's the only thing she told me. I was so out of it that I didn't get what she was talking about.

She leaned in. For a moment I thought she was going to kiss me, but she bit my neck then she left. I just laid there burning for what could have been months. I lost track of time. When I felt I could move I got up and opened my eyes to a new world.

˜*•. ˜"*°•.˜"*°•L.2.E•°*"˜.•°*"˜ .•*˜

I saved many humans after that night. It was my job to look over the alleys of Seattle. I didn't kill them. Whenever I was tempted to taste human blood I tried to remember the pixie. If she hadn't saved me I would have been dead that night. By not giving in to this temptation of drinking human blood I'm showing my gratitude to the pixie _vampire_. I know she's not an angel now evidently.

Humans are complicated. They do things you never expect; you don't know what they're thinking about all the time. You don't know when they're going to turn and start to walk toward the opposite direction. One minute they're laughing and the next they're shedding tears. I always wanted to go to a theater and watch people while they're watching the movie; keep in mind that I'm not a creep. You never know when they start yelling. Well_you'd_ never know these things, because I'll assure you _I_ would know every single thing that there is about humans. I can tell when something scares, embarrasses or even fascinates them. That's a lot right?

Humans are fascinating to me _now_. Well not all of them. I had the pleasure of running into a few during the last few years and they were anything _but_captivating_._

When I was human; I was the awkward person who bumped into everyone on the pedestrian lane. I remember even back then they frustrated me; not knowing what they were thinking made me go mad.

I couldn't wait to arrive at my favorite place in the whole world, Seattle's Public Library. I can actually say I mean it because I have traveled around the world but nothing excites me more than this library.

I try to tune out people's thought sometimes their just plain boring.

"Edward Cullen" I snapped my head up and looked around wondering who was calling me. I was rather startled because no one knows who I am.

There was a group of girls huddled over a book. I tried to pay more attention. I was still confuse, how would they know my name and why are they staring at the book like it's a wonder?

"Oh he's so dreamy" one of the girls sighed.

By "he" I assumed she was saying Edward Cullen this time as well. _Well thank you, but would you like to enlighten me how the hell you know my name?_ I wanted to ask. Of course I couldn't do that, so I just perked my ears and looked closely for more information.

"Give me the book back Sarah, you can't have it. I told you I don't lend my books_." I don't lend my Twilight books to be exact_. She added in her thoughts.

So Twilight was the name of the book and did she just say book_s._

I could just go ask for the book and read the back of it. Hopefully there's nothing major and my name was coincidently mentioned in the books. Edward is a popular name. _Who are you kidding, it's the twenty-first century and Edward is not popular._When you're all alone talking to yourself becomes a normalcy.

I walked closer to them holding my breath. I was preparing myself in case one of them was "mouth watering", which fortunately none were.

"Hey ladies." I gave them my panty dropper crooked smile. Their words not mine.

"Hey." They squeaked in unison.

"I heard you were talking about a book, may I have a look." They handed me the book without any further questions.

I flipped the book and started to scan it. I could analyze it closely later.

"Thank you." I turned round. I walked until I was out of sight then ran with my vampire speed toward my apartment. I got there pretty fast.

Then I started to read the picture I had of the book out loud.

"First Edward was a vampire, shit how is this even possible?"

I skipped the second one because it had the words "thirst" and "blood" so I avoided it like a plague.

"The third I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." She falls in love with a vampire? Doesn't she know it's dangerous? Is she a masochist? Was this girl for real? _Of course not you idiot__she's a character._

That night I went to the first book store I could find and bought the four books of The Twilight Saga.

I looked at the mirror, checking every feature of my face. I'm not self obsessed.

Untamable bronze hair. _Check_.

Skin cold as ice_. Check._

Vegetarian. _Check._

Mind Reader. _Check._

I could go on forever telling you the similarities between _Edward_ and myself. The only differences between us are his topaz eyes, and the fact that he has a family, _Cullens_, and well Bella. I can see why _Edward_ fell in love with _Bella_, but I can't see why she fell in love with him.

I know Bella can't be real. You ask me why?

The answer is obvious. Who falls in love with a vampire? I'm not trying to be emo like _Edward_.

I'm just thinking logically. I spent days fantasizing on ways to find my _Bella_, but I came to a conclusion that _Bella_ doesn't exist.

I picked up my Twilight book; I wanted to re-read it again. Not that I needed the actual book. I have every line memorized.

It's just that reading Twilight makes me feel that the connection with Bella is real, even if she's a fantasy.

I reached the part where she saw the Cullens for the very first time; I realized that I know how the pixie Cullen looks like. She was the pixie _angel_who turned me into a vampire.

I remember what she told me when she changed me.

"_You'll find out why I did this someday Edward"  
_It took me a while to realize that maybe she needed someone to watch over the streets at nights.

Could there be another reason for me to be a vampire?

More reasons to envy _Edward._

He not only got the girl, but he got the family also while I sit here all alone pondering about his family.

I never wondered why Stephenie Meyer wrote a book based on a girl who falls in love with me of all people; because I know it was just a coincidence. _Coincidence my ass Cullen, what about the pixie vampire then, Alice?_Oh inner monologue how I missed you.

I turned on my laptop just to stop myself from thinking about Twilight, Alice or Bella.

I started typing carefully, God knows how many lap tops I have broken with my vampire super strength power. I'm not bragging, just stating a fact.

I checked the news, apparently Eclipse, the third installment of the Twilight Saga is doing really well. I searched for picture just to see how they actually look.

_Bella_ is really pretty. Edward looking nothing like me but he's good looking I give him that.

I see Jacob, and I thank god that he doesn't exist in my life. Then I remember that if Bella is real she probably has someone like Jacob. I don't know why but this makes me mad. So I snapped the lid of my laptop shut and it cracks. _Great another broken laptop._

I looked at my watch. It was near 10 PM and I know I should get going soon.

Seattle is safe at nights, thanks to me of course.

I walked out of my apartment. I slow down to my human pace, it's still early for trouble and I have time. By now I knew which parts of the city were more _accident pron_e, and I know exactly what time the jerks would start to make problems. It's never the same person since I scare the shit out of them with my fangs. _Fangs! Good one Cullen. You don't have fangs._Sharp teeth I suppose then. I hate that voice.

I don't find _problems_ every night, they are actually rare; however, I never stop wandering around the streets for two reasons. First, I can never forgive myself if something were to happen to someone and I wasn't there to prevent it, and second I don't have anything better to do at nights.

I reached the street were most of the jerks come to. I don't know why people would continue to walk here since it's obvious this place is not safe.

I heard suspicious noises and I knew tonight wouldn't be a peaceful night. Little did I know.

"_Wait up, Sugar"_I heard the jerk called after someone. I wasn't far from them. I knew he wouldn't be able to hurt her. I would get there in time. I knew he was running after someone from this alley. I was so close to the alley. I heard in his thoughts what he was thinking. That repulsive junk. I could "see" the girl running so fast, away from the jerk. She wasn't graceful; she actually tripped twice in the ten seconds, this should have been the first clue.

I was so lost in "watching" her run that I didn't see I was actually running into someone. It was her, the girl who was running. She smelled so sweet. Like freesia. I held my breath because it was risky for her.

I was so worried. Her heart was beating frantically. It was then that I realized I couldn't read her mind. I tried with concentration this time, but I heard nothing.

I knew it was _her_even before she looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes.

**Okay, if you feel that there's a jump or a scene change completely out of phase, it's just that I'm merging chapters with each other.**

**I am **_**Really**_** sorry for all the Emails that you guys are going to get. Just 2 more and I'll be done.**

**I'm sorry.**

**Please review :)**


	4. This is it?

**Disclaimer: All belongs to S.M**

_**Okay this is the first time I write an E/B interaction and I'm really excited about it.**_

I remember my favorite line from a TV show, Grey's Anatomy. "You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it." That line couldn't be truer. I never knew what this day would be like. I never knew that I would actually end-up meeting him. My perfect guy, my Edward.

I lost the track of time. It could have been days that I've been staring in his eyes. His were green. I don't want to go all sappy on you, but I could really get lost in his eyes.

"Are you alright?" His voice was velvety just like _Bella_ described it in Twilight. I realized I was still gaping at him, so I shook my head to answer his question.

He looked away from me and returned his gaze to the alley behind, looking for the assholes I presumed. His eyes narrowed. I followed his gaze; the assholes were running away; probably got the angry vibes that were rolling away from Edward. Wait a minute. He is _my Edward_ right?

I looked at him again. He certainly looked the way Stephenie Meyer described him. Bronze disheveled hair, lean but muscular body, and OMG have you seen his jaw?

_Focus Izzy._

I snapped out of my daydreams about Edward's jaw.

"So where do you live? I could walk you. It's not safe. You shouldn't be walking alone this time of night. Why were you walking alone by the way? You should know better-"I raised my eyebrows and he stopped his ranting. The guy didn't even know me and he was scolding me. Who did he think he was?

_Edward Cullen of course. Shut up._

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my own."

Edward or whoever he was snorted.

"A thank you would be nice—"

I looked at him, surprised, because he just said a line from twilight and he knew it. He was looking for my reaction. I didn't doubt it now. He was my Edward.

"Thank you." I gave him my best fake sweet smile and turned to walk toward my house.

"Wait up Be-" I stiffened. Was he just going to call me _Bella_?

Apparently I wasn't the only one who caught his relapse.

He looked pretty shocked for a vampire. _You don't even know if he is a vampire._

He started walking after the a few moments. When he reached me he gave me his significant crooked grin.

"I'll walk you home." He didn't ask me. He just stated so I couldn't say no to him.

I told him the address to my apartment and we both began walking. We weren't touching; however, we were walking rather close to each other. To others we didn't look like couples, but we looked like people who really know each other not two completely strangers.

"What were you doing in an abandoned alley this time of the night?" He asked, breaking the silence that was hovering over us.

I decided to tell him the truth, as embarrassing as it was there was no need to hide myself from him.

"I had a horrific date tonight, and the guy didn't offer to drop me home. I decided to walk. Guess I just lost track of time while thinking." Hoping he wouldn't ask about what was I thinking about. Thankfully he didn't.

"You're lucky I found you then."

"I wouldn't call myself lucky, how would I know that you're actually the good guy?" I was challenging him.

His whole posture became rigid.

_No sense of humor then or he had indeed read Twilight._

"I'm joking." I slapped him on his shoulder playfully. He was even more rigid now.

_Good job Bella. Can't even carry a normal conversation with someone, right?_

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have hit you. You can just leave. I can walk home."

"Hey! Don't be upset. You just startled me. I said I walk you home so I will." He grinned.

I made a mental note to never startle him ever again.

"Do you always walk around at night?" I asked him.

"Do you always walk with strangers to your home? I could be a total psycho for all you know." _Smartass._

"You're not. Answer my question please." I insisted.

"Why would I? You are a stranger, and unlike you I don't share my secrets to strangers." He thinks he's so smart.

"I didn't tell you any secrets. So you walking around at nights is a secret?" I smiled at him smugly while making air quotes for secret.

"Don't put words in my mouth Be-" He stopped himself again from saying my name. I wondered why he wouldn't just say it. Get it out in the open, you know.

I ignored his relapse, _again_ and asked him another questioned. I wanted to keep him talking. His voice was really soothing.

"I can keep secrets. Tell me one, please."

"I always walk around at nights." He smiled.

I huffed, "You kind of let that one slip."

"Why was your date horrific?" He changed the subject.

"I'm a social retard. I thought about running out of the restaurant, just to let the poor guy out of his misery."

"His loss. You don't seem to have problems talking with me now."

_And I wonder why._I thought sarcastically_._

"Maybe because I've been writing to you for months now" I muttered under my breath.

"What was that?" He asked and I remembered that he probably had a super hearing power.

"Nothing." I didn't want him to know.

"So wanna tell me your name?" He asked after five minutes of silence.

"Izzy." I said while looking at him carefully I wanted to know his reaction. He was good at composing his beautiful face features; however, his eyes gave him away. His eyes told me that he was disappointed; he wanted my name to be Bella. I did an internal happy dance because I just realized he wanted me to be his Bella.

"So wanna tell me your name?" I repeated his question.

"Anthony." _Smooth Cullen._

I'm sure I looked like an idiot with a stupid smile on her face.

I decided to relief both of us from having this awkward conversation. I knew this was it, so I took a deep breath, closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his eyes when I told him this.

"I asked your first name, you just told me your middle name."

We both stopped walking. I knew he was looking at me with his emerald green eyes. I could feel the weight of his gaze, but I couldn't look at him.

I didn't know when he moved, he had probably used his vampire speed. _So he is a vampire_. Anyway next thing I know he was standing in front of me and I could feel his cold breath on my face.

"Open your eyes Bella." And of course I complied.

Someone asked me what was the purpose of life back when I was graduating from high school, I just shrugged told them ask me later because I'm young and I still have a lot to experience. I made a face because let's face the guy that asks this kind of question on is kind of ummm…GAY. Anyway getting of topic here. Back then I didn't answer the question but now I knew the answer. It was hard not to, since the answer was staring right into my eyes. I knew I merely existed to save the goddess right in front of me. I knew why the pixie chick/vamp changed me that day. I now understood what she was talking about. "You realize later why I did this". Umm yeah beautiful girl standing in front of me, point well made.

If I weren't changed I wouldn't be there to save Bella and I can't imagine a world without my Bella.

My Bella looked so scared, but she was completely unaware of her surroundings. By surrounding I meant me growling at the street jerks, they were walking backwards just in time for Bella to see.

I prayed internally that she hadn't heard me growl at the jerks, her heart was beating rapidly, but I figured it was for a completely different reason and by reason I mean me. I didn't wonder why she wasn't scared of me, since I was already aware that she was just being Bella.

I told her I'll walk her. She told me directions. No questions. She told me where she lived without any hesitations. She was really Bella. Not that I doubted it. She talked. I talked. She told me about her disaster date, I was just glad it was a disaster. She asked questions. I answered, carefully, making sure that I didn't reveal too much about myself. I slipped a couple of times. I almost called her Bella, while she hadn't told me her name yet. We were both sure of the others identity, both waiting for the ball to drop. I knew she was Bella. She knew I was her Edward. I say "her" Edward, because I have always been hers, even before knowing it.

I told her my name was Anthony. She got a funny look. Like she knew I was bullshitting. I expected her to let it pass, but she didn't.

" I didn't ask about your middle name…" Now I said that she knew I was bullshitting but man I didn't expect her to know my middle name.

After the shock wore off I realized that Bella was breathing erratically. Just as I leaned in and saw that her eyes were closed. I breathed her scent in. Masochist as I am. Her scent was floral. Not girly floral. Bella floral.

"Open your eyes Bella."

And she did. If I had died in that moment, I would have died happy. If I _could_die would be the correct phrase though.

I wanted to kiss her so much that it hurt. But I had known her officially for less than an hour. So I resolved for planting a kiss her on her cheek.

We didn't talk after that. I just wrapped my cold hand around her warm one and started to walk toward the direction of her house. Her heart beat had increased again, but I ignored it. It was an easy thing to do, since her warmth was distracting me.

I knew she wants to talk, but she doesn't know what to say. Or where to start. I wanted to know the moment she found out about me. But we had time for that. We could have forever if she wanted. I didn't want to act like the Edward guy in Twilight and tell her she can't be a vampire, because I knew Bella would win. I mean one look in her eyes and I was done. She could ask me to jump out of an airplane and I would do it in the blink of an eye. I don't know if I would die or even get injured, but I would do whatever Bella wants.

When we reach her place she tugs my hand_. Tries_ to tug my hand and I follow her to the directions she's pulling me. We sat on the stairs of her apartment. Still holding hands. I didn't want this moment to end, but I knew she had to sleep.

I made a serious effort to get up, I swear her gravity was pulling me even closer, but I had to let her sleep. I didn't let go of Bella's hand when I got up. She tried to hold me firmly in my place, but she couldn't. She's too fragile. And I'm too heavy.

"I'll be back tomorrow." I whisper, ever so slowly.

"I could be dreaming for all I know…" she mumbles, mostly to herself, but I heard her with the vampire ears.

"Baby, you're not…"I tried to reason with her.

She looked surprised. I realized that I had just called her "baby" and by the way she was blushing I'd say that she likes that.

I kissed her cheek again.

"Sweet dreams baby." I emphasized on "baby" I knew it would make her blush, which it did.

I was about three steps away from her. _Yes, I did in fact count the steps that I was taking in the opposite direction of where Bella was standing._

"Wait."

And I froze. I turned on my heels to face my beautiful girl.

"Wait, just for a second I'll be back soon."

I nodded. Wondering why she had told me to wait.

She took her time. Well maybe for a human she was actually fast, but for me or a vampire it was long.

She handed me a box. I had never been shocked out of words before, but this night has proved that nothing was the same with Bella. I never expected her to give me presents.

"You got me a present."

"Don't be stupid Edward." The first she ever said my name. My heart would have skipped a beat, _if_ I had one, heart beat that is. I do have a heart it's just futile.

She pointed to the top of the box that was when I saw what was written in the box.

"Letters to Edward" was written in girly hand writing.

My eyes were bugged out. I looked up to her.

She looked self conscious, fidgeting while playing with the sleeves of her coat.

"I didn't know you were real but these really helped," her voice was so low. I just stared at her.

"Just so I know that tonight wasn't a dream when I woke up in the morning." She explained.

I was still shocked.

"Have a good night Edward." With that she placed a kiss on my cheek. I was still too stunned to realize that she had just kissed me.

I wanted to tell Bella everything, but she didn't ask. I guess I didn't ask her anything in return as well. We had time. I didn't want any secrets between us though.

-Letters to Edward-

That night when I went home, I was sure of two contradicting things. One, I knew that everything has changed; I knew someone somewhere out there will always care for me. If I disappear someone will notice. I knew that I wasn't alone. I knew that the pixie vamp girl wasn't the only one who knew of my existence. Two, I understood that meeting her didn't change anything as well. I knew that even if I hadn't met her and I disappeared for some unknown reason she would have realized. We were connected in an unfamiliar strange way. Bella was everything I needed, obviously wanted, and more.

I sat on the bench of my piano, still on a Bella high. My every thought was evaded by her. I glanced at the box she gave me. The box was labeled "Letters to Edward". I was unworthy. Unworthy of her and this box would just prove that. She had written to me for almost a year. While I was sure someone like her didn't even exist. She told me she doubted my existence as well, but you don't write to a person who doesn't exist. I wanted to prove myself to Bella and I had an idea. I thanked Stephenie Meyer for planting the idea in my head and started to compose a song which I already knew what I would name, Bella's Lullaby.

Scenarios. They're basically a series of your imagination just glued together. We, and by "we" I mean us girls; we make scenarios in our heads. We don't necessary call them scenarios. We call them dreams, but that's not true, since we're wide awake when we're imagining how it would feel if a guy that we liked kissed us. We make numerous scenarios in our head about the perfect guy and how we meet.

But let me tell you something none and I absolutely mean that none of the scenarios are as good as reality. Reality is so much better, it's better than dreaming, day dreaming, making scenarios, combined. I felt a slight squeeze on my hand. I didn't have to look up to see what he wants or what is he asking me. He wants to know what I'm thinking about. I squeeze his hand, well try to would be more appropriate since he's so freaking strong, I'm letting him know that I'm fine. I smile, and make an effort not to look at him. I know he's smirking because he has a pretty good idea why I'm avoiding looking at him.

Earlier today when Edward came to my place, at 4 AM mind you. No really I'm glad he came over early because I was restless.

He was very cliché about it as well, throwing pebbles at my window, to wake me up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Wanted to see you," he said feigning innocence.

I yawned. "You left me 5 hours ago, and you've known me for less than 12 hours," said I, trying to reason with him.

"Is that your way of telling me that you don't miss me?"

Suddenly I remembered that this was Edward, my Edward the one that I spent all last year thinking about.

"Are you using the window or you'd rather use the front door?"

That crooked smile.

"Window would be fine." He stated, still smiling crookedly.

I took two steps backward, just giving him space; I didn't know how good his powers were, if he had any that is.

In a blink of the eye, there he was, standing gloriously in my bedroom.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey."

We stood there awkwardly. Let's face it, Edward and I didn't know each other.

"I thought this would be less awkward." I mumbled, too low for human ears, but the superhuman in the room heard me perfectly clear.

"Tell me about." He said in return.

"No I'd rather you tell me why you're here?"

"Are you saying you don't want me here?" He said challenging me.

"Get to the point Edward." Trying to sound stern, I was enjoying this playful banter.

"Okay okay, I was reading the letters that you gave me. I came across this one," holding the letter up "and I wanted to read it when I'm holding you."

Awww he's so cute, and I'm blushing again.

"Which one is it?"

"You'll see shall we" he said pointing to the bed.

I lied down on the bed, he was next to me again in less than a millisecond, I was facing him, but he was lying on his back. In a swift motion he placed my head on his chest and wrapped his left arm around me. I let out a breath. I could get used to this.

I felt a kiss on top of my head.

"Comfy?"

I just nodded.

"So let's see…Dear Edward," he stopped "have I told you that I adore the way you start all of the letters?"

"Are you going to read it, or are you just going to ask questions about each word?" With that he started reading again not for long though since he couldn't control his laughter.

"Dear Edward do you want your letters because I assure I would send them to you right away, just tell me where to send them. Please." He couldn't read anymore, so I slapped him on his chest.

"Stop laughing at me."

"Sorry baby, it's just really cute, and I envy that you had hope. And I didn't. I didn't think my personal angel exists." He said with a sad tone, while tightening his arms around me.

"Just read the rest of it." I figured reading the letter would keep his mind off of these thoughts.

"Your wish is my command love."

_Hello, puddle of goo here._

With that he started reading the letter, this time with no interruptions. I kind of phased out, because of his melodious voice; I was making a good scenario in my head. I swear I could just make a movie about Edward and me, just kissing in different places.

"…real and fantasy, will collide. Until then let's keep writing to you, my Edward…_and yes I'm blushing at the thought of you being mine_…"

"You do blush easily" he said mostly to himself while touching my cheeks, and just for the sake of it I blushed more.

"…for only once a month. I'll promise I won't forget you, honestly how can I forget the most amazing creature on earth. I love you my Edward."

Eerie silence.

This is what I mean about awkward situations. My heart was beating rapidly, _again_.

After what felt like two days, he finally said, "Can I hear you say it?"

"Hear me say what?"

"You know?"

"No I don't really know."

"Beeellaaa."

"Edddwaaaarddd."

"This can take a while."

"I don't know what you want me to say." I shrugged. I had a good guess about what he wanted to hear.

"I want to hear you say that you L-O-V-E me."

"How old are you again?"

"Don't change the subject love."

"I am not changing the subject Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I just want to know how old are you, where are you from, I know you're a vampire, but I need to know how that happened. Where do you work, where are your parents, when were you born. What the hell were you doing in the alley, how long have you known about me. I need to know about you before I tell you that I love you Edward, because if I tell you that's it there's no going back. I want you to assure me that I'm not insane. I'm not going head first into something that could be the end of me." I took a deep breath.

We weren't lying on the bed anymore, both sitting Indian style. He was gazing at me with an amused look.

I huffed and lied on the bed with my back to Edward. I didn't hear a thing, but there he was spooning me.

"I'll tell you whatever you want know." He whispered, only pausing to place a kiss on my shoulder.

"But I want to know about you too, I'm so far gone Bella that it scares me, my whole existence is because of you and you know how intimidating that can be? I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you, and I'm not trying to scare you away or anything, but I think we're past the 'ohh I wanna be exclusive' or 'will you be my girlfriend', because there's no one else, and you know that Bella. You know that it's just you, and after reading the letters I know it's just me, Bella, so can you tell me you love me, because I long to hear it. I'll tell you everything you want to know." He paused. "I love you Bella, so much that it hurts." It was faint but I heard it. All through his speech my heart was on a race. My cheeks were bright red because I was blushing.

"I love you Edward." With that I turned to kiss him full on the lips, taking him by surprise. He wasn't responsive for mere seconds only, and then he flipped us over so he was hovering over me, and showering me with kisses.

Kisses on my jaw, kisses on my eye lids, kisses on my cheeks, forehead, below my ears, my nose, and virtually every surface of my face that was available to Edwards reach.

After making out for five minutes, Edward decided that it was too much for him. I didn't push it. We went back to our previous position. His left arm wrapped around me while I laid my head on his chest.

"I'm forty two."

"Huh?"

"I'm forty two."

"I'm sorry but don't say it like that it makes this feel disgusting, how old were you when you were changed?"

"Twenty two"

"That's what your age is from now on." I was joking and he knew it.

"Yes Ma'am."

"Always the gentleman?"

"For you my Bella, always."

The rest of the morning we talked about his life. He cleverly out skirted the subject of his parents, and I didn't ask. We had time. Infinity if I want it and God knows how badly I want it. He told me about pixie and I was in shock. I would worship the ground she walks on, because she gave me Edward. He told me he could read minds, but not mine of course, and we both knew why, but we really didn't want to talk about the _other_ Bella and Edward.

We kissed again a lot. When it became too much for him, he suggested we go to his apartment, because he wanted to play for me.

I agreed. Because saying no to Edward is impossible.

He is irresistible and he knows it.

That's how we ended up walking in the streets holding hands. He wanted to walk to his house.

We made a bet to see who would last longer with wanting to kiss the other person. One minute out of the house, I looked at him and I couldn't resist, but I convinced him that the kiss didn't count and just because I'm his Bella he accepted it.

That's the reason I'm avoiding eye contact with him now.

Another squeeze of my hand.

"You're in lala land again."

"Just thinking about this morning."

"Or just avoiding eye contact so you wouldn't feel the need to kiss me." He said smugly. He knows me _too_ well, for someone who just met me last night; he even knows me better than most people that know me all my whole life.

"I'm winning that bet." I informed him.

"We'll see baby."

Edward's apartment was beautiful. It was well furnished. Homey. It was warm. It wasn't big, just the perfect size.

He gave me a brief tour, and then dragged me toward the piano. I sat next to him on the piano chair, playing with his hair at the nape of his neck, while he played for me.

I knew the song was about me. When he was done playing, I put both of my hands on his face, forcing him to face me. Then I kissed him.

After a minute of kissing, he mumbled against my lips "You lose."

"Shut it." I said placing my lips on his again.

He was vibrating with laughter when he said, "I love you Bella."

This moment was just perfect. It was our moment. It was reality. It wasn't a kissing scenario that I'd made up in my head. It was just us. Edward and Bella.

**Please review:) **


	5. The End

AN: I know it's late. I know people are mad. If there's anyone who cares enough to be mad. I just know one person who will read this chapter. So this is for Her, and whoever else, who cares enough to read this. I am thinking of ending the story here. BUT if you want an epilogue you just need to tell me. I see how many people actually want an epilogue:)

thanks for sticking with me, I am aware that I suck:D

**The End**

"Edward."

All I get is a 'hmmm'.

I try again. "Edward." This time my tone a bit more stern.

I'm not playing but he is.

I pinch him. I try to pinch him I mean. I earn a smile for that.

I 'hmph' and start to get up. In a blink of the eye I'm back where I was a second earlier, on Edward's chest.

"Are you done acting?" I ask.

He plays dead again. He's pretending to be sleeping and was failing miserably.

"We need to leave, it's starting to rain, and you know how much I detest rain, and don't tell me that continental shit that you memorized from the movie."

He just smells my hair. He's smiling again.

"You know I am also capable of give you silent treatment."

He mumbles something.

He is enjoying this.

I touch his face. He is still a statue. I kiss his eyelids, still a statue. I move to kiss his lips, he opens his beautiful eyes. They're gold, topaz. They're my sunshine, and he knows this.

"Hi there," he says lamely. Like he just woke up from his nap. He's so good at acting, acting normal, acting human.

We're in our own bubble; we're unaware of our surroundings.

"Had a good nap?" I play along. People are watching, even if we're acting normal.

"The best." I love it when he's playful, like he has no worry in the world. Like he doesn't have a human girlfriend (he hates that world), who is pushing him to change her.

"We need to leave."

"I know. You just want to get me alone."

Oh he didn't know how true that was.

"Come on, old man, time to leave." I get up to clean. We were having a picnic in a park. How normal, right?

We're going to his apartment.

He helps me clean up. There isn't much, he doesn't eat after all.

We walk back to his apartment, fingers intertwined. He kisses the back of my hand every five minutes; I tell him he's whipped. He just grins at me. We both know it's the truth.

Over the past three months, this has been my life.

School, study, a walk, dinner, a bed time story, lullaby, sleep.

I'm not being honest. There is an hour between dinner and the bed time story, which Edward and I just argue.

I want to be a vampire. He doesn't want me to be one, typical.

He wants me to move in. I don't want to, even though we sleep with each other every night.

I want to meet his parents. He doesn't want to find them, I can understand this one.

He wants to be married, but he doesn't say it. I don't tell him that I want to be married too, just not right now.

I want sex. He thinks I'm being a hormonal teenager, who can't control herself. I swear I didn't attack him. Okay maybe once.

We never get anywhere, so he just tells me that he loves me. I can't argue with that. So I just tell him that I love him too.

Tonight is different though. We need to get somewhere. I'm determined tonight.

"So when are you going to tell me what you're thinking about?" He asks.

"You'll find out soon."

"I'm not in trouble am I?"

"What the scary, bad-ass vampire is scared of his human girlfriend? Ironic."

"Oh believe me, you have more power on me than any other creature. It's really scary."

"I'll make sure to use those powers tonight."

I can really see the light bulb above his head. He knows what's going to happen again tonight.

"You are never going to let this go, are you?" He knows me well.

"No, but I'm going to win you know."

He just sighs, and says a very quiet "I know."

I'm the one who's grinning now.

"So how are we doing this again?"

"We're not doing anything now, and don't give me that look." He says, when I pout.

"But you sa…."

"I said okay, I will change you. I didn't mean today, tomorrow, or anytime soon for that matter." He cuts me off.

"You are unbelievable." I stomp my way into his kitchen. I open the fridge; grab a bottle of water, then slam the door shut, hard.

"You're going to kill my fridge, if you slam the door any harder." He says, leaning to counter next to the fridge. I don't get surprised when he appears out of thin air anymore.

"I know that was the plan, you won't be using this fridge for a long time after tonight." I go to his bedroom, grab my bag, and start throwing my stuff in it.

I'm not going anywhere but he needs to learn a lesson.

"This is ridiculous." He pulls his hair. I tried to convince him that he took that trait from Robert Pattinson, let's just say he wasn't convinced.

"I know it is and I've been trying to tell you for months."

He was suddenly there grabbing my bag and throwing it on the bed. He has a bed. See, I'm not just getting ideas, he purchased a king sized bed. He says it's for me to sleep on, but he could've fooled me.

"No Bella, you packing your stuff and leaving is ridiculous, but what I'm doing is the most rational thing you could think of."

"I..umm..I just need you to be human, for three more years. By then you'll be in your twenties and closer to my age. Please Bella. I'll do anything you want, but not this, please." He pleaded with me.

An idea formed in my head. I do have certain fantasies that can be fulfilled by Edward.

"Anything…" I say.

"Anything." He repeats and gulps. He knows me. He knows what I'm going to ask and he can't refuse.

Edward gave me everything I wanted.

I gave him three years.

Life is good when you have someone you love to share it with.

**Thanks for reading:)**


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